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The day I became a mystery client

Usually, after descaling, I Don't share my level of satisfaction with my dental practice. Nor do I fill out the "customer experience" QMS for signs that are kind enough to order me a combined refrigerator, oven or ceramic plate, and I Don't put stars on a frame because I can't tell if it makes me "happy", "very happy" or "really very happy". I Don't know if it makes me "happy", "very happy" or "really very happy". I Don't know if it makes me happy, "very happy" or "really very happy".

In short, I'm a lazy consumer who doesn't help brands or doctors improve their methods. Yet, in the fall of 2021, on the advice of a more altruistic friend than myself, I signed up for the application of Smice, a company specializing in mystery shopping.

Defence secretarial audits

This old-fashioned method, developed by McDonald's in the 1950s, consists in recruiting anonymous and scrupulous observers to test the quality of service in stores at the request of brands. At a time when the latter can get blown up in seconds by Google, TripAdvisor and social media reviews, they increasingly rely on these secretarial audits to avoid disaster.

"the well-reasoned reports of our mystery customers serve as management tools within companies," explains Julien Mondhard, founder and CEO of smice. Founded in 2005, his company conducts, each year, 30,000 visits by 5,000 field experts with its application (the only one in France), and is one of the five main players in French mystery shopping. Thus, in exchange for gifts, or even small salaries of a dozen euros, I became an ultra-sharp customer, capable of exegesis of any purchase.

Le jour où je suis devenue cliente mystère

Before taking the risk of offering me a real mission, Smice invites me to test my espionage skills at a bakery of my choice. Objective: to buy a wand. A priori, nothing complicated, except that I have to swallow some thirty pages of recommendations among which: "1. Never reveal your identity. 2. Hesitate and take some time to choose your product, even if you know what you want to buy. 3. Don't invent. At the end, I will still have to answer 57 questions.

In the queue, I try to behave normally, while remaining attentive to the state of the façade, to cooking smells (do they embellish the sidewalk?), to the presence of opening hours, to the missing products … In Mata Hari de la Baguette, I photograph the premises and scrutinize the refrigerated windows with the intensity of a jogger lacking in carbohydrates to make sure that the products are sorted by line. "do you have a specialty?", I ask-this is the protocol-despite the "1 euro organic baguette" placards glued on the walls … The boss's eyebrows stand in circumflex accents. Panicked at the thought of being unmasked, I feel a vein inflating abnormally at my right temple and I am no longer able to hear its response.

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